Get Over It by Stacy McVane
My favorite leadership expert is John C. Maxwell. In his book, “Failing Forward,” he says that in order to move forward you have twenty-four hours to get over successes and failures. I have experienced getting stuck in the successes and failures. I also understand it’s time to get over the successes and failures and move forward into what is next for me.
In 2002 I ran the Motorola Marathon in Austin, TX. It was one of the most challenging things I have ever done in my life. The six month training in order to get to the starting line was an experience in pushing through physically and mentally. In 2003, I decided to participate in the Danskin Triathlon. I had to get over the success of the marathon in order to train for the triathlon and have another goal to challenge me. That wasn’t an easy thing. I like success. I like having the pictures and metal from the marathon on my office wall. I’m really not sure who doesn’t. I also realize that God is more concerned with my character then how I feel and my list of successes and failures. I’m not always going to “feel” successful, but I am loved and accepted by God. Knowing that gives me confidence to get over successes and failures and move on to the next thing in life. Romans 8:35-39, “Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written: “For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.” No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
When I say “get over it,” I mean get over you; the past hurts, disappointments, successes, failures, and relationships (personal, ministry, business). God has so much more for you then to be stuck in an emotional spiral over people and circumstances you have no control over. You have control over your emotions and the things you choose to expend your emotional energy on. In my own life, in order for me to get over some things, I’ve chosen to be vulnerable: going to a professional counselor to sort out my thoughts and feelings, confronting and being confronted by individuals I’ve hurt their feelings or they’ve hurt mine, being honest and raw with my emotions when spending time with God, and having great girlfriends that I can confide in and truly be myself (the good, bad, and ugly). I encourage you to be self aware about your emotions, but also not to get stuck in them.
I had a one on one meeting with my personal trainer, Kratai Albert. It included being weighed and measured for the next season of her Power of Six (www.kratai.net) fitness program. I didn’t meet the goals I wanted to in the past three month session. I wasn’t focused on the physical (exercise and nutrition) part of me. Instead of being stuck in the last session, I made a choice to move on to the session that starts on Monday. I set new goals and have a new plan of action. I also have someone to support, encourage, and keep me accountable. It’s important and strategic for me to have Kratai to be my cheerleader, coach, and tell me the truth. I want something different, so I have to do something different.
An important thing that I have learned to get over is past relationships. It’s crucial to get over past relationships in order to be open to the opportunities set before you for possible new ones. A couple of years ago, I was in a relationship with a man that was also in ministry at the same church I am on staff at, Shoreline Church. We served side by side in one another’s ministry before and during our relationship. When our relationship ended, it really stretched my emotional awareness and changed the dynamic of our ministry partnership. I knew that neither of us was going anywhere. I had to learn to get over it quickly in order to continue to do what God wanted me to do and still have interactions with an ex-boyfriend/ministry partner. Believe me, it was easier said than done. Today, I am in an incredible relationship with a man that attends the same church as me. I also have a casual friendship with the ex-boyfriend/ministry partner. God’s healing and restoration is real.
I have decided to start every day fresh with a clean perspective in every area of my life that includes an attitude of mercy toward myself. Lamentations 3:22-23, “Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his Compassion never fails. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.”
Stacy McVane is the Executive Director of Lift Student Ministries at Shoreline Church, Austin, TX. You can follow her on Twitter HERE and friend her on Facebook HERE. Visit her website at www.StacyMcVane.com.
Stacey great words of encouragement! I think it’s so true to let go of any hurts and not hold on to long to that football moment that was in our past that was great during that time but has no effect on our future! Great way to learn to not live in the past and to continue to lean on Christ as we move forward to the next venture!
You mean it didn’t have to take 3 years?
Thanks for Truth!
Amazing Stacy! You always help me to ‘Get over it’ by being so real with me in every situation! Thanks for sharing and being a great friend and leader!
I believe it’s essential to be real in every situation: be kind with your words when sharing, take responsibility, and apologize (even if you don’t think it’s your fault). Heather, you are always great with the above three.
This was amazing. I left feeling encouraged and motivated to move forward with what God has for me. I am getting over it Stacy McVane. You inspired me!!!
This is great Stacy. So many times we can get caught up in our successes and failures to where we hinder the work God still wants to do to, and through us. I loved the ” get over it” tone. Sometimes simple and blunt is needed, at least for me it is. It was a blessing to come to your site and read the truth in your words. This has been very inspirational and came at a time that I really needed to face this.
Thank you Stacy. I needed this TODAY.
Wow Stacy, the deceptively simple tenet of getting over it (or getting over us, as you said)is the subfloor of the foundation of our faith. So many of us will receive Jesus, but then we go on to get caught up in guilt, pride, being overwhelmed, etc. If we (I) can remember to receive Jesus AND trust that …Christ in me is the hope of Glory… and not my successes for failures, then we can run the race with unburdened shoulders.
Also, those are GREAT personal examples about your past; thanks for sharing. So many of us can relate to the so-called successes/failures of physical fitness and romantic relationships.
I can hear chains being broken from your bravery and obedience to share these words 🙂 Well done you!
Emotions can be so powerful if we let them. Way to express the necessary perspective that gets us from one point to the next.
Proud to see you through these battles won. You are a growth machine!
All of us can definitely relate to this message…. thanks for being vulnerable and willing to share it!
Stacy….all I can say is awesome!!! You have always been such an inspiration to me in the short time I’ve know you.
Great story and thank you for being transparent. I wholeheartedly agree its important not to get stuck in the past-and it sounds like you’ve done a fantastic job moving on and moving forward.
I guess the degree of pain one feels over a past wound can make healing longer for some than others. I know single parents and divorced friends still “hurting” years later. I know it took me almost 2 years to get “over” my last relationship. I suppose to the degree one allows ones heart and spirit/soul/mind to be open to Healing and Renewal may play a large factor in the “moving on” stage. The willingness to Forgive another; and then oneself I believe is critical-as it takes an Act of Grace(Forgiveness; Letting Go; etc) to break the Chain of Ungrace (Unforgiveness; resentments; bitterness; etc.). Once again-Great Article Stacy.
Great perspective Stacy. I’m so glad you know that God is the healer & restorer & He is the one who gives us the ability to “get over it.” turning our heart toward him is the first step. Sure love you & so proud of you. Love Kelly
Thank you Stacy. We all need to GET OVER IT. Than God can use us to help others. You are helping people by your story:)
Another great piece by a great woman with wise and insightful thoughts, and it’s so true about not so much getting over it but yourself. Way to go Honey! I am absolutely proud of you and sharing your experiences to help others with theirs.
I Love You Stacy Lynn
Stac – this is incredible! There is so much insight here. I pray I can remember this lesson daily, it is so vital. It’s easy to get stuck on ourselves but it’s also great to remember that each day is a fresh start. You’re an amazing leader who challenges me to be all who God created me to be. Love u!
I love you, Stacy. Thank you for this on time awareness that I needed!
Great work!! Clear and concise……very typically you!!!