Tag Archive for: Stacy McVane

Get Over It by Stacy McVane

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My favorite leadership expert is John C. Maxwell.  In his book, “Failing Forward,” he says that in order to move forward you have twenty-four hours to get over successes and failures.  I have experienced getting stuck in the successes and failures.  I also understand it’s time to get over the successes and failures and move forward into what is next for me.

In 2002 I ran the Motorola Marathon in Austin, TX.  It was one of the most challenging things I have ever done in my life.  The six month training in order to get to the starting line was an experience in pushing through physically and mentally.  In 2003, I decided to participate in the Danskin Triathlon.  I had to get over the success of the marathon in order to train for the triathlon and have another goal to challenge me.  That wasn’t an easy thing.  I like success.  I like having the pictures and metal from the marathon on my office wall.  I’m really not sure who doesn’t.  I also realize that God is more concerned with my character then how I feel and my list of successes and failures.  I’m not always going to “feel” successful, but I am loved and accepted by God. Knowing that gives me confidence to get over successes and failures and move on to the next thing in life.  Romans 8:35-39, “Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?  As it is written: “For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.” No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.  For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

When I say “get over it,” I mean get over you; the past hurts, disappointments, successes, failures, and relationships (personal, ministry, business).  God has so much more for you then to be stuck in an emotional spiral over people and circumstances you have no control over.  You have control over your emotions and the things you choose to expend your emotional energy on.  In my own life, in order for me to get over some things, I’ve chosen to be vulnerable: going to a professional counselor to sort out my thoughts and feelings, confronting and being confronted by individuals I’ve hurt their feelings or they’ve hurt mine, being honest and raw with my emotions when spending time with God, and having great girlfriends that I can confide in and truly be myself (the good, bad, and ugly).  I encourage you to be self aware about your emotions, but also not to get stuck in them.

I had a one on one meeting with my personal trainer, Kratai Albert.  It included being weighed and measured for the next season of her Power of Six (www.kratai.net) fitness program.  I didn’t meet the goals I wanted to in the past three month session.  I wasn’t focused on the physical (exercise and nutrition) part of me.  Instead of being stuck in the last session, I made a choice to move on to the session that starts on Monday.  I set new goals and have a new plan of action.  I also have someone to support, encourage, and keep me accountable.  It’s important and strategic for me to have Kratai to be my cheerleader, coach, and tell me the truth.  I want something different, so I have to do something different.

An important thing that I have learned to get over is past relationships.  It’s crucial to get over past relationships in order to be open to the opportunities set before you for possible new ones.  A couple of years ago, I was in a relationship with a man that was also in ministry at the same church I am on staff at, Shoreline Church.  We served side by side in one another’s ministry before and during our relationship.  When our relationship ended, it really stretched my emotional awareness and changed the dynamic of our ministry partnership.  I knew that neither of us was going anywhere.  I had to learn to get over it quickly in order to continue to do what God wanted me to do and still have interactions with an ex-boyfriend/ministry partner.  Believe me, it was easier said than done.  Today, I am in an incredible relationship with a man that attends the same church as me.  I also have a casual friendship with the ex-boyfriend/ministry partner.  God’s healing and restoration is real.

I have decided to start every day fresh with a clean perspective in every area of my life that includes an attitude of mercy toward myself.  Lamentations 3:22-23, “Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his Compassion never fails.  They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.”

Your Thoughts?

Stacy McVane is the Executive Director of Lift Student Ministries at Shoreline Church, Austin, TX. You can follow her on Twitter HERE and friend her on Facebook HERE. Visit her website at www.StacyMcVane.com.

7 Elements of Student Ministry Directing by Stacy McVane

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Communication and relationships are the most important aspect of any church organization.  Developing great relationships across the entire church staff, and not just within your department is crucial to the vision.  In order to have unity and continue to stick to the vision of Shoreline Church – Unveiling God’s Love, I must be able to communicate and find some sort of commonality with everybody on staff.  Respecting and adhering to other departments’ processes and systems gives you credibility and opportunity to serve one another.  Developing relationships is always a blast!

I was having a conversation about communication with Joel Maguire, the Men’s Student Life Director of Shoreline’s Leadership College.  He said, “Unvoiced expectations will always equal unmet expectations.”  This is such a true statement.  If it weren’t for the volunteers at Shoreline Church, we wouldn’t have a church.  Volunteers want to know what is expected of them so they can meet and exceed expectations.  People want to be asked to help and serve.  Everybody wants an opportunity to make an impact.

From my perspective, these are some practical elements of directing student ministries from Ji-High to Young Adults:

  1. Be the person who has all the answers to all the questions.  If you don’t have the answer, tell the person you will find out and get back to them.  Make sure you follow through on what you say.  I had four leaders call me about a specific incident.  I let them know I didn’t have an answer because I wasn’t there, but I would get back to them.  I researched, found the answer, and called each one of them back to dialog about the incident.
  2. Work yourself out of a job.  Bring someone with you everywhere you go.  Always be mentoring someone.  Multiply your leadership.  It’s not necessary to be at the Lift Young Adults service on Sunday nights because Nadine Matthews can run it.
  3. Make sure everyone is clear on the vision of the ministry and what the win is.  The win at every Lift service is to have no first time guests sitting alone.  Adrian Cardenas makes sure this happens at our Lift 7th-12th grade service with our Lift Rats (a team of teenagers who love on our guests) and Jenny Heggem makes sure this happens at our Lift 6th-8th grade service.
  4. Plan ahead and be flexible with change.  Always plan, but always be ready to change the plan if asked to.  If my supervisor, Pastor Earl McClellan wants some part of our Lift Young Adults service to change, I make sure to leave enough room for change to happen.  If I have a question, I can always ask after the service.  Take action at the moment and debrief later.
  5. Look for the gifts, talents, and passions of others.  Jessica Worthey is passionate about 6th-8th grade young ladies and I knew she would love to lead a small group of ladies in the home of Grace Wall’s parents.  Jessica loves her small group and the young ladies are learning about relationships and leadership with Jessica.
  6. Learn emotional flexibility.  Be able to pray with someone and comfort them and then move on to tasks related the rest of the service.
  7. Be Prepared and be yourself. This is the best piece of advice I have ever received from my brother-in-law, Pastor Sam Mata. I do my best when I adhere to that advice.

After serving on staff at Shoreline Church for nearly eight years, I’ve had to learn to be confident in who I am.  I am God’s child, made out of His love and grace.  I have a purpose made specifically by God.  If I concentrate on these truths and not on my position, there comes a freedom to rely and depend on God rather than striving to get things done in my own strength.

Your Thoughts?

Stacy McVane is the Executive Director of Lift Student Ministries at Shoreline Church, Austin, TX. You can follow her on Twitter HERE and friend her on Facebook HERE. Visit her website at www.StacyMcVane.com.