Interview with Gayle Haggard

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I had the unique opportunity of doing a Q &  A with Gayle Haggard this week. She is a remarkable woman who shines with the love and grace of God. She recently wrote a book called, Why I Stayed: The Choices I Made in My Darkest Hour, chronicling her and her husband’s story of a scandal that broke in 2006. If you have not read her book, I encourage you to. Renue International read and posted book review which you can read here. Sitting in her lab session at the Catalyst Conference in Atlanta I saw a woman who is bold, strong, and confident in God’s faithfulness to restore and heal the broken. I am so thankful for her open, honest answers. These are not the same questions asked to her in other interviews, I wanted to get beyond what “had happened”, and into what “is happening” and what the future holds. I hope you feel more connected and inspired by her words.

St James Church – Local Church Ministry

Tanya: Why did you choose to stay in Colorado Springs?

Gayle Haggard: We chose to return to Colorado Springs in order to finish our story there. We were not willing to let 22 years of positive ministry end or be defined by scandal. We knew the only way to undo that was to live past it. We feel God called us to Colorado Springs 25 years ago and He has not changed that call.

Tanya: What are you doing different and/or the same in this new ministry in comparison to how you and Ted built New Life?

GH: We are keeping it simple – we don’t want to work as hard as we did before. The message is the same albeit seasoned with the wisdom and purification than only a trial by fire can produce.

Tanya: Do you anticipate it to grow like your last church or be smaller – or bigger?

GH: We have no growth expectations. We believe God builds the church and adds people into the body where He wants them.

Tanya: What is your prayer for this church regarding its impact in the community?

GH: My prayer for St James Church is that we would offer hope to the hopeless and hurting and that we would be known for our kindness, compassion, and most importantly our love for one another.

Ministry and Marriage

Tanya: Given your experiences, how would you instruct young couples involved in full time ministry?

GH: I would encourage young couples to learn how to love each other – it’s a process that develops over a lifetime. Give yourselves permission to take time to enjoy each other and to laugh a lot. Don’t be a burden to each other – try to make each others life easier. Life can be hard – choose to be each others safe place. Know that each of you are in a process of growing to maturity that will take a lifetime – choose to journey together and to grow in understanding. Each of you will fail in some fashion – understand that and learn the art of forgiveness and love that covers a multitude of sins.

Tanya: What is the importance of “date nights” in a marriage?

GH: Never put another person ahead of your spouse in your heart. Be the kind of person you would want to be married to.

Tanya: How do you feel about the future of local church ministry in the hands of new young leaders? Are you hopeful? Anxious? Concerned? Why?

GH: I am hopeful as I look to the future of local church ministry in the hand of new young leaders. Although the needs of society seem to be growing increasingly complex, I am confident Jesus is, who is the Head, is more than able to guide this next generation. They need only to stay connected to the Head in sincerity of faith and to not only hear His teachings, but to put them into practice. That is the hope I have for the future of the church.

Personal Questions

Tanya: What makes you laugh?

GH: My family- they all have a great sense of humor.

Tanya: What makes you cry?

GH: A person who is suffering.

Tanya: What inspires you?

GH: Early mornings, the changing of seasons, and the teachings of the New Testament.

Tanya: What is the immediate thing you are hearing from God right now in this season of your life?

GH: God is teaching me to love life again, and not to pressure myself or anyone else too much. I remember an old saying “Is it so small a thing to have lived light in the Spring, to have loved, to have laughed, to have done?” I like that. I enjoy not thinking more highly of myself than I ought. Beyond that I do have a sense of purpose for my role in the body of Christ. However, I am now trusting in the fact that His yoke is easy and His burden is light and in the Holy Spirit’s ability to bring to pass His purpose for me.

Tanya: Are you reading any books?

GH: Currently I am reading, Repenting of Religion by Gregory Boyd; a commentary on Romans, and my Bible.

Personal Favorites

Food? Chocolate ice cream

Color? Burgundy

Flower? I love them all.

Movie? Enchanted April

Date night memory? Sitting and talking for hours over dinner with my husband/ and riding ATV’s to a beautiful and secluded place in the mountains with my husband.

Book? The Bible and Pride and Prejudice.

Tanya: What’s the next 50 years look like for your family and your church?

GH: Even better than the last 5o years!

Questions sent in by others:

Question: How did those stood by your side as you walked through the revelation and aftermath of the disclosure support and minister to you, and how do feel that has played into where you are today?

GH: I was separated from the church and my closest friends.

Question: Leader to Leader – What personal accountability or support system would you recommend leaders of large churches or organizations establish in their lives to help them balance the pressures of leading with internal struggles that are hard to share?

GH: They must find a safe place to openly and honestly deal with their internal struggles. My hope is that we in the church will grow in understanding and maturity in order to be that safe place. In the meantime, however, a licensed counselor can help.

Question: What kind of encouragement and advice would you offer to a wife who’s husband is wresting with a struggle that is similar to what Ted has gone through, and Ted what would you say to that man?

GH: We would counsel them to see a licensed counselor who is a Christian and specializes in their area of difficulty as as well as trauma resolution therapy.

Question: What do you know about mercy now that you didn’t know before?

GH: Before I tried to be as merciful and compassionate as I knew how to be. Now that I know what it feels like to be the person who so desperately needs mercy and compassion – I am more merciful and compassionate toward people’s struggle with their human condition.

For more information and to follow Ted and Gayle’s ministry, family, and schedule visit www.TedHaggard.com.

 

The Nines Online Event: Game Changers

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8:30am: poured my coffee, opened my laptop, and for 9-hours was blown away by a one-day event called, “The Nines.”

The Leadership Network (@LeadNet) has made possible an online one-day event to capture some of the best voices in church growth and leadership. The response was so overwhelming that this year almost 100 speakers submitted personal videos and had 6 minutes to share on the topic of “Game changers in your life or ministry.”

As I scrambled to take notes on their six-minute-sermons, it occurred to me that there were a few common themes in their speech. Here’s a summary of their Game Changers…

1) Be true to yourself and your purpose: God uniquely gifted and designed you with a specific purpose. It is not productive to compare and copy. Although, it is important to learn and model what we see, the measure of success is in our obedience to God, not the approval of man. I think Pastor Steven Furtick of Elevation Church said it best, “Mediocrity is mass produced, but destiny is uniquely designed.”

2) Seize opportunities: In times of crisis or confidence, there’s an opportunity to expand the Kingdom with the Gospel. Create and seize those opportunities to bring Jesus to your family, your church, your community and your world. As Michael Hyatt of Thomas Nelson said, “Don’t ask ‘Why me?’, ask “What does this make possible?'”

3) Simplify: One theme that frequently came up was the, “less is more” concept. From church plants to mega-churches, leaders are learning to do more with less – less money, less people, less stress. Doing more can take away from your core value and mission as a church, focusing on what you are uniquely called to do. Pastor Craig Groeschel of LifeChurch.tv made it clear by saying, “Fewer resources lead to greater innovation.”

What has been a game-changer that has shaped your life or ministry? When was that time when you dared to dream, took a risk and stepped out directly into a failure or success? Game changers don’t always have to be a success, we can learn a lot by failing forward. The success is in the ability to move and change as God leads. Share your story here, leave a comment, and encourage someone else.

Why I Stayed by Gayle Haggard – Book Review

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I’ve just finished reading the book, Why I Stayed – The Choices I Made in My Darkest Hour by Gayle Haggard. I’ve followed the Haggard’s ministry for many years. I’ve had lots of friends attend as well as serve on staff and volunteer positions at New Life Church in Colorado Springs, CO. When the scandal broke in November 2006, I was living in Orlando, FL. My heart broke for the Haggard family and the New Life Church community during that crisis. But, most of all, my heart broke on how the church (The Body of Christ at Large) reacted to that situation. The fact is we simply reacted, we didn’t respond with the love & grace of God. At the moment the church had the media spotlight from around the world covering the story, and we reacted in a defensive way only to protect the reputation of an organization. I understand why to a point. However, what if we responded in a way that introduced the world to a concept of love and grace towards individuals who fall — whether they are laymen or even mega church pastors? What if the church thought as chess players and saw the Haggard scandal as a opportunity and decided to leverage the crisis to impact and reach more hurting people that struggled with drug addictions, immorality and other issues of life that are in need of the love and grace of God? I believe Gayle & Ted Haggard are using their platform today to do just that. We are excited that God is using their story by restoring their voice to the Body of Christ.

People have asked me, why do you support the Haggard’s and don’t you think it’s risky for Renue International to support them publicly? My answer to both of these questions is this — Because their story represents a true message of grace and forgiveness. It’s the greatest comeback story I think my generation has ever seen. You really don’t need to hear a sermon to understand the depth of grace and forgiveness, just watch and listen to Gayle’s story and you’ll see the Gospel at work. Plus, I hate church politics and I’ve accepted the fact that I will never fit into the mega ministry church world and all the religious politics that come with it.  We want to see peoples lives changed and transformed for the Glory of God, what people think about us is irrelevant when it comes to the cause of our mission! Because ministry is not about us, it’s not about public relations, it’s about reaching the hearts of people!

Renue International will always support the Haggard family, because we know that God’s grace and forgiveness is for anyone, even for mega church pastors. To follow what’s happening with the Haggard’s, visit www.tedhaggard.com . Make sure you get Gayle’s book!

The Group vs. The Team

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Read Phil 2:1-2

  • Power in Unity
  • Power in a team working together

In Judges 7 – Gideon had a group of 30K, but God used a team of 300. You will never advance with a group, you will only advance with a team. The main difference between a group and a team — groups celebrate wins, but teams create wins.

The truth is not everyone on the group has was it takes to be on the team. Don’t confuse the crowd (group) with the committed (team).  There are several reasons:

  • Everyone in the group won’t think like the team
  • Group minded people observe; team minded people participate
  • Group minded is individualism; Team minded is collaboration
  • Group minded focuses on being valued; Team minded focuses on adding value
  • Group minded focuses on looking good; Team minded focuses on being good
  • Group minded is consumed by the price; Team minded is consumed by the prize

As you can see there is a big difference between the group and the team. We won’t get the same thing from the crowd as we get from the team. Put your time and energy in discipling, developing and multiplying your leaders – the team. Don’t spend your time trying to coddle a group minded person. Love them. Smile at them. Be kind to them. Don’t get mad at them. Just understand, not everyone will be able to make the leap from the group to the team.

With every move of God there is always a leader, a team and a group. The leader points to It. The team drives toward It. And, the group follows It. Sometimes, not everyone can make the transition from following a vision (group minded) to driving a vision (team minded). This doesn’t make anyone better than or less than, just different seasons of life in their walk with God.

If you’re a part of a ministry team, serve God with all of your heart and realize what you’re doing is bigger than you.

Your Thoughts?

 

When Failures Speak the Loudest by Tony Fetchel

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As I sat down to check my email, I was amazed to see I had received an email from John.   He was reaching out to me, now living in another country, to forgive me.  He had read my blog and read some things I had to say and was corresponding with me to communicate to me that he no longer had any bitterness in his heart towards me.  It had been almost 5 years since I had seen or heard from him, and the last time we spoke I was his pastor.  He had struggled with homosexuality time and time again throughout his time in my campus ministry and church, and repeatedly I had been very hard on him and ministered to him more than enough times, that he had to get a handle on his sin and that in short, God was grieved with him and his struggles.

But you see, that was before my own personal sin had become public.  You see, I myself was in an ongoing affair with another woman, for two years.  In the middle of his failure and struggle to live clean of his sin, I was in the middle of my sin, living a lie: and I was his pastor.  But here he was, much younger, having never been a pastor, ministering to me the love and forgiveness of Christ.  Despite my deep failure, here he was showing me more Christ-like love, than I ever had shown him.

Before my very public and very humiliating failure, I was very demanding and exacting towards my students, staff, and church members.  Though lost in my own sin and shame, I was driven towards ministering to young people a very “man centered gospel.”  We had built our ministry and our discipleship program around man, and man’s leadership, rather than Christ.   I was fortunate to have so many precious young people following me and looking up to me and holding me in such regard, that I was destined for failure.  I blame no one. I blame myself.  I was too caught up in the affirmation of man, and my affair partner, than Christ.  I was in love with the attention and being needed, more than I was in love with Christ and his grace.  The problem was that I was fueled with a very subtle, but fierce, pride.  Sure you may have seen a little pride back then, but really, I masked it with words like “discipleship,” and “spiritual family” and helped corrupt the true gospel of Christ with statements of absurdity and heresy.  The problem was, none of us knew any different.  We were great at marginalizing the weak, or those who struggled with addictions or sinful habits.   We were great at excluding those who didn’t fit the mold.  We labeled people who needed a lot of ministry as “needy,” and continued to give less and less of ourselves to them as we didn’t perceive them to be leaders. Now, 5 years post affair and failure, the gospel I have found is a very Christ centered gospel.  A gospel filled with grace, and love than I ever thought possible.  I shutter sometimes at some of the things I preached and ministered to people.  It’s not uncommon that I often find myself repenting for the heresy I communicated to so many, under the banner of discipleship, leadership, and spiritual family.

Anytime we preach a man centered gospel, we are destined to see eventual failure and compromise.  For the simple fact that our gospel was never meant to be centered upon any man, except Jesus Christ.   When we elevate man, or man’s principles to an equal level of Christ and his word, we blow it, and we blow it huge.   Now, five years later, God has shown me more of his love and his forgiveness and his grace than I ever knew existed.  I had no idea how forgiving, loving and kind God can be.  And it took me losing everything but my wife and three children to show me his grace, redemption and restoration.

Friends, it’s in our failures that often times Christ can speak to us the loudest and clearest.  I wish it wasn’t so, but God is a master at using our shortcomings and our failures (however public or private they may be) to not only save us, but to redeem us, restore us, and ultimately change us more into the image of Christ.

Your Thoughts?

Tony Fetchel’s greatest joy is his restored and redeemed marriage to his wife Jodi and their three kids, Nathan, Macy, and Zackary.  Tony currently writes a blog for Affair Recovery Center, and is the young adult pastor at Shoreline Christian Center in Austin Texas.  Tony is now slowly reentering ministry as a valued speaker, writer and consultant for several mediums and ministries.  You can follow him on Twiter @fecciello. His blog is http://www.affairrecovery.com/strength. Tony is available for speaking.

Hindered or Hoisted? Part 1

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A short while back Pastor Brian Houston of Hillsong Church Sydney, Australia tweeted this statement: “Don’t deny a person who has faithfully served your vision; the right to pursue a grand vision themselves!”

What does that statement do to you? The truth – the emotion that this statement evokes reveals your heart and its motives.

Do you have kids? Are they young and still living at home? Are they grown and still living at home? Are you looking forward to the day when they are on their own, with families of their own? Do you hold your children back from chasing their dreams or do you try to guide them and prepare them for the world that awaits their contribution?

As parents we tend to nurture our kids the way we lead people. Do you have overgrown staff and leaders who should have left the “nest” long ago but you were too scared or selfish to let them go?

Let’s breakdown this statement into further examination:

“deny a person…” – to the person who has served in your vision and comes to you with a desire to step out into new ministry terrain, and you have the power to release or deny them. As their pastor or leader, they are coming to you for guidance, wisdom, and blessing. If you knowingly deny them the wisdom and blessing, you have betrayed their trust and stifled the vision of God in their life to serve your own needs. Is this being Kingdom-minded?

“…faithfully served YOUR vision.” – this same person has faithfully, loyally, wholeheartedly served your vision and they’ve sensed God’s hand sending them out, and to step out into other areas of ministry they haven’t experienced – what do you do? Hinder them under your authority or hoist them over your shoulders? As a pastor or leader, you have a responsibility to foster growth among your staff and leaders. Guess what happens when you do that — they grow! And some might leave and this is ok. Its healthy, its normal, and its necessary.

“…pursue a grand vision…” – while serving your vision they have captured one of their own, this is good. This vision may grow to be more influential than yours is, are you ok with this? Jesus told his disciples, “greater works than this shall you shall do.” Jesus created a model among his disciples to expect great things and to do greater things than what they saw Jesus do.

If we are going to hold people back from doing what God has called them to do then we are not fulfilling the command of “go into all the world and make disciples.” How can they go into all the world if we don’t let them leave the backyard. Eliminate the lid that stands between you and the limitless sky above and do great things – and release your people, your leaders, and your staff to do even greater things.

At the end of the day, this statement by Brian Houston will always bring you back to examine who’s Kingdom you’re building. God’s Kingdom or Your Kingdom!? How can you determine which Kingdom you’re building or a part of? The evidence is not how many people attend your church, or how many services or events you have or how many popular guest ministers you invite in. The evidence is and always will be how many disciples you develop and release to the nations!  Developing people and releasing people is Kingdom business…nothing more, nothing less!

Do you go to a releasing church? Does your church have a culture of discipleship? If so, what do they do? How do they release your leaders?

Craig Groeschel – “Building God’s Kingdom”

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Craig Groeschel, pastor of LifeChurch.tv shares at Catalyst West 2009 on Building God’s Kingdom vs. Building Your Kingdom. Who’s church (kingdom) are you building? God’s or yours? I had the privilege of being in this session at Catalyst West last year. Enjoy this clip! You can now follow Craig on Twitter @CraigGroeschel

4 Approaches to Ministry

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Have you ever seen a group of kids at a playground and observed the leader of that group and how they interacted with the kids? Were they playful? Were they distant? Were they stern and over-corrective? I believe this is a way for us to look at how ministry leaders approach those we lead. These four approaches are not the “end-all-be-all”, but I think they will help us identify our strengths and weaknesses in our leadership and allow us to grow and change into Jesus’ way of leading.

The Friend Leader: This is the leader who is playing with the kids, in their sandbox, part of their games, and in the grass. This style loves to be everyone’s friend, on their level, and not display too much authority so as not to overpower the kids. This style is approachable and loving, but have difficulty bringing correction or leveraging authority. The “kids” love this style because there’s little accountability and high approachability, however they will eventually need someone to lead and not just be their friend. The Friend Leader must embrace their role as a leader when the time calls for direction and discipline.

The Intimidated Leader: This is the leader who does not want to be with the kids because they don’t know what to do with them. They are stand-offish, and do not communicate on the child’s level, if at all. They would rather delegate someone else to take care of the kids because they feel overpowered by them. The Intimidated leader will not be approachable or loving, instead they are fearful and use intimidation to direct them.The kids know they intimidate the leader and can easily manipulate them or leverage the power in their favor. The Intimidated Leader must break the intimidation and allow God’s love to flow through them.

The Tolerating Leader: This leader tolerates the kids’ presence, seeing them as distractions and wants to just do what is minimally necessary to care for them. The Tolerating Leader’s communication is condescending and arrogant. They expect the kids to behave like adults and holds them to a higher standard of accountability that is unrealistic. The kids know they are tolerated and have little to do with this leader, they will manage themselves to prove to the leader they are worth the attention. The Tolerating Leader is also prone to over-correcting, rather than nurturing a child’s imagination, they correct them for minor issues.This leader can only be effective if they take the time to lower their guard and be approachable.

The Celebrating Leader: This leader is a friend, but also a guiding director. They aren’t afraid to get on a child’s level but they leverage their authority to provide guidance, accountability, and encouragement. This leader celebrates the kids’ skills, talents, abilities, etc. while giving opportunity to grow and use those talents and abilities. Their communication is simple, direct, and loving. The leader and the kids have a level of respect for one another and the kids can take correction well from this leader because of that mutual respect.

There’s an account in the Bible about Jesus’ interaction with children, they loved him and he loved them (Luke 18:15-17.) the disciples acted like the Tolerating leader, overreacting to them but Jesus wasn’t afraid of them. He celebrated them and instructed us to be more like them.

As you lead remember you are a child of God and He celebrates, loves, and guides you in all you are. Let’s take that approach to those He has entrusted into our care to lead and minister.

Ministry and Mt. Everest

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“I felt like quitting, but I just kept going.” Do these words sound familiar? These are words that ministry leaders have uttered many times – the key word is BUT! When you feel like you are at your end, and you can’t keep going – that’s when you KEEP GOING! Bill Wilson, of Metro Ministries, says the two hardest things to do in life is starting and finishing. I wholeheartedly agree. Forward movement sometimes doesn’t look much like movement when you’re in it. Circumstances change, feelings change, but God’s plan and direction never change.

There’s a story I heard about Mt. Everest climbers. People who have climbed Mt. Everest have felt the same way. At first they have lost of energy and gain a lot of altitude in the first legs of their journey, but as they get higher they slow down and camp at checkpoints. They take longer breaks, sometimes days at a time, so they can build strength amidst the thinning air. This story always encourages me and I share it with others feeling stagnant or like things “aren’t happening like they thought it would.” Are you climbing or are you at a checkpoint? Both are necessary to reach the top.

The Israelites were in the same situation when they left Egypt. By day they followed the Lord in a cloud, and by night they followed Him by fire. (Exodus 13:21.) Throughout Exodus you read the words, “they camped in (city).” It was a journey, and not a sprint across the desert.

There’s a time to move and a time to rest. Which time are you in? Times of rest are not to be stagnant – this is time to prepare for the next move. If you are in season of “climbing” or moving and you are overwhelmed with change, take heart, rest is coming. If you are in a season of rest – take heart, prepare for when it’s time to move again!

Where Does Momentum Come From?

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Where does momentum come from? And how is it created? These are good questions. I’ve been wrestling with these questions for some time and do not have the answers to them.  However, I know this, everybody wants it personally and organizationally. People might say momentum comes from the Holy Spirit. They would be right. They would also be wrong. Momentum is a sign that the Holy Spirit is moving through a gifted group of people. But momentum is also a sign that a specific group of people are working intentionally to create outcomes they want to see happen within their context.

Nothing is random when it comes to momentum, everything is intentional. But two things are for sure when creating momentum.

  1. Unity among the team = ownership of the vision
    • People who own the vision have an emotional connection with it.
    • People who own the vision contribute to it with their finances, labor and ideas.
    • People who own the vision will sacrifice faithfully for it.
  2. Every team player must be a doer = a driver of the vision
    • A driver of the vision is one who looks for opportunities to enhance, expand and grow it.
    • A driver of the vision is more concerned about what we can do, rather than what we can’t do.
    • A driver of the vision are the ones who breaks the rules, think outside the box and hates average thinking.

Look around your team. A key indicator amongst individuals that own and drive the vision are those that can influence and make things happen. There’s too many leaders in ministry today that talk all the time, but never produce. They have tons of seminary knowledge, but no fruit. They love meetings…all kinds of meetings: prayer meetings, staff meetings, board meetings, conference meetings, revival meetings, etc. And, with all those meetings, nothing changes. Everything within that organizational culture or context just becomes another meeting, another service or another church activity with no traction or momentum. If you want to kill momentum in your ministry context, hire or recruit the people that talk all the time, but never own or drive your vision. But if you want to create more momentum, then recruit leaders that get it done. These type of leaders will do anything but sin, to drive your vision forward.

When we talk about momentum there is so much to be said on how to create it from different perspectives. But I believe the most basic principle is to surround yourself with the leaders that will own it and drive it with everything they have. Leaders who own it and drive it will produce momentum in your organization. The question is who are they and where are they? Who is intentionally creating it? Who is unintentionally killing it? I’ll never forget the Jim Collins principle from his book, “Good to Great” It’s time to get the right people on the bus. You might have the right people, but in the wrong seats. It’s amazing what a little game of musical chairs on a bus can do to create stronger momentum in your organization.

Your Thoughts?